Ken, Peanut Butter and Media Minor
by Sakusha
Summary: Ever wonder why a certain fanfiction site seems to never work right? The same reason Ken will never be allowed to use the computer again. Ken hacks website? Uh oh!
1. The Mission

Disclaimer: Do I really have to go through this with you guys? If I owned any of these bishies I would be FAR too busy to write anything! And If I owned Media Minor- I'd FIX IT! (hint hint)

Ok nuf of that!

I've been writing angst stuff lately. I like angsty. But yesterday I had a vision. (or maybe I just fell asleep waiting for a certain fan fiction sight to load up) And then the Weiss boys appeared. And I finally figured out how MM got so messed up.

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**Ken, Peanut Butter, and Media Minor**

Chapter 1: The Mission

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Ken ducked his head out of the refrigerator and blinked stupidly at the sound of a woman's voice. A spoon of peanut butter in his mouth stopped him from answering said voice, and open container in one hand and the lid in the other stopped him from taking the spoon out of his mouth.

Manx was standing in the doorway of the kitchen. Apparently she had let herself in and been looking for them, agitated that no one has answered her beckon call. Manx did not like to be kept waiting, which, Ken realized belatedly, was what he was making her do. With an unintelligible apology, Ken shut the fridge and turned, placing the container and cap on the table. He then took the spoon out of his mouth and stuck it back in the peanut butter.

"Sorry about that" Feeling the need to apologize again. "What can I do for you Manx?"

Manx paused making a disapproving look at Kens makeshift snack, before answering.

"I have a task I need completed." Manx looked around. "Where is everybody?"

Ken absently wiped his hands on a dishtowel to get rid of the peanut butter still on his fingers as he answered.

"Omi's upstairs studying. Aya didn't say where he was going." Ken glanced at the clock at the wall behind him, noting that it was well past 7 pm, and then looked back at Manx.

"He should be back soon. Youji probably wont be back tonight, though. Date." Ken didn't feel he needed to explain any further.

"Well this is really just for Omi anyway." She said, holding up the file folder Ken hadn't noticed till now.

"It won't need any ground work. Just a little hacking, but I'd like it done tonight."

"I'll take it up to him." Ken took the folder without a second thought.

"Thanks," said Manx. She turned to leave, but stopped short and turned back.

"Ken, just tell him to disable it. He doesn't need to take down the whole thing yet. I want to see who's behind the whole thing. And make sure it doesn't look professional. I want them to think its just some bored hacker or a virus. If they get wind that Kritiker's onto them they might pull the plug altogether."

"Sure, I'll tell him." And with that Ken started upstairs.

Ken knocked on the door and let himself in. "Hey Omi..." he said, approaching Omi's desk. He did a double take at the chair, realizing it was empty. Confused he looked around the room and found the teen laying on bed, stomach down, head rested on a textbook, fast asleep.

Ken smiled to himself. Omi was obviously exusted. The kid spent so much time with Weiss's last project that he had to do double the studying just to keep up at school. It must have finally caught up with him. Ken stood there for a moment before he came to a decision. Then, carefully he pulled the book out from beneath Omi's head, pulled the coverlet over him, and turned out the light before quietly shutting the door.

Taking the folder with him, he headed back downstairs. Omi needed a break, and Ken was going to give it too him. Ken was wide-awake. Ken was bored. And Ken knew how to use the computer. Manx said all Omi had to do was mess up some website. Didn't need to be professional, even better if it looked like an armature. Well, armature it is then.

Stopping in the kitchen Ken poured himself a glass of milk, shoved the mission folder under his arm and grabbed the jar of peanut butter in the other hand, spoon and all and headed off to the mission room.

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	2. The Research

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Chapter2: The Research

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Ken sat on the couch eating peanut butter and reading through the mission folder. Really, this was simple and straightforward. The target had been obtaining sealed legal documents and selling them to the highest bidder. Some of these documents were highly sensitive. The web site was a cover. No one ever meet in person, everything was done via the Internet.

Up till now, no one had been able to track the perpetrators. The site was not only very automated but who ever was running the show, spent no more than five minutes online at a time. They were also using some kind of wireless modem. Because the signal was being bounced off of a satellite, by the time Kritiker finally had a location, the target would have logged off and been long gone. If the website was somehow vandalized, in Manx's thinking, someone would have to spend a lot more than 5 minutes online fixing it. Breaking their own protocol would make them vulnerable, traceable.

For whatever reason Kritiker wanted this guy alive. Probably so they could find out where he was getting his information. It all really didn't matter to Ken. He didn't have to do anything but break someone's website, and that really couldn't be that hard, could it?

With a few pages of the file in one hand and the very last spoonful of peanut butter in the other Ken went over and booted up the computer and sat down. After he was logged in, he set to the task at hand. The website address was on one of the pages he had brought over to the computer and he sorted through them to get the appropriate one. After briefly glancing at the address he typed it in and almost instantly was on the targets website. It still amazed him how fast the Internet could be.

The website was not at all what he expected though. He went through page after page looking for legal material, or something that looked remotely organizational. This sight, however seemed to be full of fan fiction and fan art. Apparently, regular people wrote stuff based on their favorite shows, movies or books and posted it here. Art too. He thought vaguely that Omi had said something about a sight that did stuff like that once.

Omi was into manga quite a bit and read fan fiction as well. Not that this was the same sight Omi had been talking about of course, though Ken was quite sure Omi would have been intrigued at how the target had found such a clever way of covering up his tracks.

Now he could see that there was some sort of pay system involved. Though the folder had not indicated how it worked exactly, Ken figured that you could probably request to the administrator, and send a payment. The target would then upload the requested documents as a story and it could then be downloaded from anywhere by the purchaser. All you would need would be a keyword to find it really, and if you knew what you were looking for, the possibilities were endless. Even maps and pictures could be uploaded as fan art. Genius. The two parties involved never make direct contact and with all genuine fan stuff, one could stumble upon the website unwittingly and never know the difference.

Ken was very proud of himself for working out all of this on his own.

Light footsteps coming down the stairs interrupted his thoughts and he turned to see whom it was. Aya made his way down the steps and raised an eyebrow at the sight of Ken at the computer.

"Manx came by," Ken said before Aya could ask. Aya glanced at the mission folder lying on the couch.

"And"

"And," Ken continued, "She had this little assignment for Omi." Ken, apparently thinking he had satisfied Aya, turned back to the computer.

If Ken had been looking, he would have seen a slight tick in Aya's face.

"That does NOT explain why YOU are using Omi's computer." Aya said, much in the way you would talk to a child.

"Oh, well that easy. Omi fell asleep. All the information was in the file and it's really simple. I can do this."

"On Omi's computer," Aya said skeptically.

"Yeess," Ken drawled out slowly.

"So," Aya continued, "Let me get this straight. Manx came by with a mission specifically for Omi, and you thought you would do it instead."

_Isn't that what he just said!_

"Using Omi's computer," Aya added for good measure.

_Aargh!_

"Oh for Kami sakes Aya." Ken turned back to catch Aya in the eye and let him know what he though about Aya's show of support.

"Omi's not the only one who can hack a website ya know. Besides, I thought this was _Kritiker's _computer." Actually, Ken knew he was infringing on Omi's territory a bit, but he was _helping_. That and he couldn't think of anything else to retort at the moment.

"Omi's going to kill you." Aya stated flatly, and went back upstairs to leave Ken with that thought. Ken stuck his tongue out at Aya's retreating form.

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	3. Nuicence

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Chapter 3: Nuisance

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Youji was confused. Tired, a little drunk and very confused. There should be blond hair on the head that was attached to the body, sitting in front of the computer. Brown hair meant Ken. Ken was on the computer. Weird. Youji's date had gone horribly wrong. Which is why he was home early, and that certainly _felt _weird.

Next thing you know Aya will come down here and start up a conversation about baseball, Omi'll take up cigars, and Kritiker will start working with Greenpeace to save the whales.

Ken didn't even hear him come down the stairs. He looked utterly involved in whatever he was reading on the net.

"Oi, Ken. Watcha reading?"

Ken practically jumped out of his seat and spun around.

"Youji!"

"Uh, ya." Youji couldn't understand why Ken looked so surprised.

"You scared me." Ken hastily turned back to the computer.

"I can see that" Youji couldn't tell in the light, but was Ken blushing? Why? Didn't look like Ken was looking at porn or anything. "Omi let you use the computer, huh?" He said, coming a little closer. Ken taped a key and suddenly another page was covering the first.

"Omi didn't _let_ me do _anything_. Manx wanted Omi to trash some guys website, but when I went to tell him about it he was asleep. Didn't want to wake him up. I can do it," Ken said amiably.

Ken never turned to face Youji through his entire explanation, and Youji got the distinct feeling that wasn't _all_ Ken had been doing, but he couldn't prove it, so he set to tease him instead.

"_You_. On the computer. Hidaka Ken is going to hack a website." Youji said, amusement apparent in his voice.

This time Ken did turn around, and he _was_ blushing, but that could have been from anger, given the look he threw at Youji. The look that said 'Another word and I will kill you.'

Youji grinned and stepped toward the couch.

"Ya know Ken, you could always go and find the server and kick the shit out of it if that doesn't work."

Ken turned back to the computer with a, "Humph."

Youji tossed the mission folder onto the table and flopped onto the couch, fluffed a pillow and lay down, putting his shades over his eyes.

After a moment, Ken peaked over his shoulder to make sure that Youji had lost interest in him. Why was he here anyway?

"Piss off your date too?" Ken couldn't resist the barb.

"Somthin' like that," Youji mumbled, sleepily.

"So why are ya down here?" Ken asked with genuine interest.

"Thought chibi was down here. I usually say goodnight when I come home late. Too tired to go back upstairs. Now that I'm here, I'm just gonna crash."

"So," Youji sighed, and shifted to get more comfortable. "You really gonna do that all by yourself, huh?"

"Yup"

"Ken"

"Ya."

"Omi's going to kill you."

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	4. Fanfiction

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Chapter 4: Fanfiction

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In all his life Ken had _never_ read anything like that. Wow. Fanfiction. Who woulda guessed? Before setting to destroy the website, Ken had let curiosity get the better of him. In his younger years he used to read manga. Maybe watch an anime hear and there, Gundam being one of his favorites. He thought he'd check out some of the fan fiction. He would _never_ ever think of Heero or Duo the same way again.

Oh boy. And when Youji snuck up behind him, he nearly jumped out of his skin. He'd woulda been mortified if Youji'd found out what he'd been reading. Well, now he knew what fan fiction was. And he certainly knew what nc-17 was. Again, wow. Curiosity more than satisfied, Ken got back to what he was supposed to be doing.

Ken found the program that Omi generally used for hacking. He'd watch Omi do it a million times and was fairly certain he could use it too. After a couple of tries, Ken was in. He started sifting through the files.

Now that he was actually in, he started to doubt himself. How the hell did Omi know what was what? It was all Greek as far as Ken was concerned, but he did manage to stumble across some rather important looking files. Now what to do? Omi would scramble them. Omi would encode them. Ken, well, Ken would delete them. That would certainly disable the website, ne?

After erasing a ton of files, Ken tried to log onto the website again. And he waited. He got bored of waiting and went upstairs, changed into some sweats and came back down, and the website _still_ hadn't loaded up. It took another 5 minutes just to hit the main page. Every time Ken tried to go to another page on the website it got horribly stuck and took forever to load up. He was briefly saddened that he hadn't had more time to read more fan fiction, but was immensely satisfied. He did it. Ken hacked a website successfully_. Ha, that'll show them_.

Ken got up and stretched out. It had taken him a bit longer than he thought, but he was extremely proud of himself. He deserved a midnight snack. So Ken headed back upstairs to raid the fridge, and if Aya was awake, maybe he's rub it in his face a little.

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	5. Repercussions

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Chapter 5: Caught

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Omi stretched out and slowly opened his eyes, feeling slightly disoriented. The first thing he noticed was how dark it was. The second thing he noticed was the blanket over him and the lack of text books that he was sure he'd been studying just minutes before. He rolled over and glanced at the clock on the nightstand. It was just past midnight. _Oh God._ How the hell had he fallen asleep. Omi sat up and shook off the rest of the sleep still clouding his head.

As he stood up he heard several things pop in his legs and back that he was fairly certain someone his age shouldn't hear. He still couldn't believe he had fallen asleep, and for so long. But since he was now awake, Omi thought he'd go downstairs and check his e-mail, maybe do a little surfing. Besides, Youji would be home soon and he always came in to say goodnight, and that was certainly worth the red eyes.

Omi heard talking in the kitchen. Ken and Aya. He decided to let them be for now, but made a mental note to thank Ken for covering him up and turning off the light. Ken could be so thoughtful sometimes.

He hadn't yet hit the bottom stair when he noticed that the computer was on. _That's strange. I know I didn't leave it on._ Even stranger, Youji was already home, and asleep on the couch, feet dangling over the edge. Not that Youji never feel asleep on the couch, for he did that quit often. It was just that Yotan hardly ever came home before one in the morning.

_So much for saying 'goodnight.'_ Omi half smiled and found the blanket tucked away just for just such occasion and covered Youji up. Youji mumbled something and snuggled into the blanket. That was when Omi noticed the folder sitting on the table beside the couch.

They'd just finished a mission not two days ago. Did Manx come by? Seeing, but for the moment ignoring the empty container sitting on the table, he quietly picked up the folder and sat down at the computer. Some of the pages were missing. _Hmmm_.

Omi set the folder aside and turned his attention to the computer, the keys clacking under his fingertips. _What the hell?! _The keyboard was sticky_. Gross. What is that?_ Omi smelled the substance that was currently stuck to his fingers. It was...peanut butter.

Omi then scanned the computer area. There were pages strewn around on the left, apparently from the mission folder. There was an empty spoon on the right. He then remembered the empty peanut butter container on the table. Only one of them that eats peanut butter straight from the container. Ken. And his keyboard was covered in it. Ken had been using his computer. Omi decided to find out exactly what was_ in_ that mission folder.

Omi set to putting the papers in the proper order and skimmed through its contents. It _WAS_ a new mission. Something to do with a website. Ken had obviously started something here and Omi wasn't exactly sure if he wanted to find out what it was.

"Oh Keeennn-kuuunnn," Omi whined.

Ken must have heard Omi's movements and came downstairs to let him in on his accomplishment.

"Omi! Your up." He said coming down the stairs, big grin on his face.

"Manx had something for you to do, but don't worry, I took care of it." Ken stood by the chair Omi was occupying.

As Omi turned slightly to greet Ken, he noticed Aya standing at the bottom of the stairs, arms crossed, expressionless. He had obviously come to see how this would all play out.

"What exactly did you do Ken?" Omi tried to keep the fear out of his voice.

Ken explained about the website, and how he disabled it all by himself, omitting, of course, the part where he spent close to two hours reading fan fiction. While Ken had been explaining, Omi had been carefully reading through the file. Omi then hit the back button on his browser. And waited.

"So, this is the website you disabled?" Omi said, nodding to the screen. It was nothing more than a blank page, with the address at the top.

Ken gave a smug look, " Yup!" Then he excitedly motioned to Omi, "See, it won't load up. It takes forever. Just like Manx wanted. Broken but not destroyed."

Omi read the address at the top of the browser. Then he looked at the papers in his hand, then again at the top of the web page. Then he fought the urge to whack himself in the head with the keyboard a couple of times.

"Ken," He said, as sweetly as he could muster, "Please read the web address on the screen."

Ken squinted his eyes at the screen, "W. W .W. – dot – MediaMinor – dot – O.R.G."

"Now," continued Omi, "Read the address on this page." Omi handed a bewildered Ken the pages he had been holding.

Ken gave him a questioning look, but took the papers from Omi's hands and was about to read the website address, when he noticed something funny about it. It looked like it said Media Minor, but now he noticed the peanut butter had been smeared onto the page, directly over the web address. It hadn't said Media Minor at all, but Media Mirror. _UH OH_. Ken gave Omi a bit of a panicked look. Then he said it out loud.

"Uh oh."

Omi gave Ken an evil eye, but said nothing as he turned to the computer, which had now loaded up, revealing the poor website that had the misfortune of crossing Hidaka Ken's path. Using his unique software Omi logged in as an administrator to look at the inner runnings of Media Minor.

"Keennn-Kuunnn," He whined again, "What did you _do_?"

"I..I... just deleted a few...things."

"You killed it. A poor defenseless fan fiction page, and you killed it."

"That's what I was _supposed _to do." It was Ken's turn to whine.

"Well, you did a good job, Ken-ken, you just did it to the wrong site," Omi said with a sigh. "I can't even fix this, it's too damaged. You'll just have to hope that whoever is in charge of that website can sort through this mess. Until then it's going take forever for all the pages too load up. And it's going to piss off a lot of people."

"Well," said a very nervous sounding Ken. Omi looked up to see Ken stepping backwards, " Its really late ya know, so I'm gonna..."

"Ken-kun," Omi warned.

Ken had made it up three stairs and was now behind Aya, as if using him as a shield.

"Uh...yes Omi?" Ken cringed. "Your gonna kill me now, right?"

"Oh, first I'm going to hack the _right_ website..."

Ken looked visibly relieved.

"But _then_..." Omi continued.

Ken still hadn't moved

Aya smirked ever so slightly. "How long do you really think that will take him, Ken?"

Ken started to get that panicked look again.

"Oi, Ken," said a sleepy voice from the couch. "I'd start runnin' if I were you, I told ya he's a bit vicious about his computer."

There was a definite "EEP!" behind Aya as Ken scrambled for safety.

"That was a bit mean, Youji-kun, Omi chided."But I really should think of some sort of retaliation to keep him away from the computer."

"Maybe," suggested Aya, "You could make him actually read all that fan fiction. Ken hates to read."

Reminded of the blush Youji had seen earlier on Ken's face, Youji commented, "Somehow, I don't think he'd mind that at all. Nope. Not. At .All."

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End file.
